tam brams - UGLY

They say that about sardars (within India) and about Indians (outside of India) - but i think it applies much more to a certain tribe called the 'Tam-brams' .. 'You can go to any part of the world but u cant be too far away from one of them' [ Well thats actually a censored down version: the actual one is - 'Indians are like roaches - u can kill as many as u can and there will still be some around - no matter where u are' .. dont judge me - im just passing on what people say about us, if it hurts ur sensibilities - please ignore the bit in parantheses :p]

Upfront, this is the story of the typical tam ive met - its a LCM vs a HCF (if u know what i mean).. so if ur tam and realise that you dont have all the below mentioned characteristics, dont rush to the closest balcony or well.. its all right, no one is ever a perfect tam-bram, just keep working towards it.. ull get there soon - and then u can evolve into a human being..slowly


Anyways, I'll start off with how to identify this curious set of people.. In India (for the fictitious non-indians reading my blog), these kinds are identified having these characteristics:
- Oil drippers: you can see oil flowing down from their heads (an entire blog can be dedicated to the grossness of oil that is streaming down the back of the neck after a 'head bath') - this is said to be the main reason why the oil prices are where they are today!
- Tikka: Not to be confused with heavenly chikkkan/paneer tikkas, this refers to the sacred grey ash on thier head (a minor variant of the term 'black ass' as used by our afro american frends).. there are fashion variants amongst these too - the 3 X horizontal line - a testament to the holy trinity (not the Matrix waali!) a complete 'out there' statement ..then there is the other variant - casual and understated - just a careless blob - torn between fitting with the rest of the world and keeping in touch with ur tambram roots.
- Checked shirt, trouser and leather chappal: Well cant really say - this could be characteristic of a bihari also - so will not talk much about this.
- Eating joints: Completely vegetarian, preferably only South Indian food (Udipi restaurants)
- Conversation topics: Couldnt understand most of these, not cos they were in Tam, but cos they were highly maggu nerdy MS/Phd level stuff :p

In Singapore, they are found eating at Sarvana Bhawan and LN (lakshmi Narsimhan) - the appearances are changed so as to not be deported back - but innately they are still the same...

Others:
- Bathing: Typical tam-brams take 45 mins to bathe - the process is long winded and complicated , involving several mins of standing there under the shower ignoring people outside banging on the door cos u are delaying them. They also need to bathe everytime u step out of the house - lest they be ostracized from society

- Rajnikanth: Just when you had decided that this was a bunch of sedentary boring people, u see the crazy following for Rajnikanth - there are hazaar jokes on this topic on the web - please read them for more info..

anyway - nayak has promised to give me inputs on this one, so this is just a draft.. will come back with more info on this.. (see how tough it is to write a blog! need to research and all too)

Also, Interesting fact-byte : Tam brams constitute only 2-3% of the total TN population -which is very weird cos ive never met a non-bram tam!