Saturday, April 7, 2007

tam brams - UGLY

They say that about sardars (within India) and about Indians (outside of India) - but i think it applies much more to a certain tribe called the 'Tam-brams' .. 'You can go to any part of the world but u cant be too far away from one of them' [ Well thats actually a censored down version: the actual one is - 'Indians are like roaches - u can kill as many as u can and there will still be some around - no matter where u are' .. dont judge me - im just passing on what people say about us, if it hurts ur sensibilities - please ignore the bit in parantheses :p]

Upfront, this is the story of the typical tam ive met - its a LCM vs a HCF (if u know what i mean).. so if ur tam and realise that you dont have all the below mentioned characteristics, dont rush to the closest balcony or well.. its all right, no one is ever a perfect tam-bram, just keep working towards it.. ull get there soon - and then u can evolve into a human being..slowly


Anyways, I'll start off with how to identify this curious set of people.. In India (for the fictitious non-indians reading my blog), these kinds are identified having these characteristics:
- Oil drippers: you can see oil flowing down from their heads (an entire blog can be dedicated to the grossness of oil that is streaming down the back of the neck after a 'head bath') - this is said to be the main reason why the oil prices are where they are today!
- Tikka: Not to be confused with heavenly chikkkan/paneer tikkas, this refers to the sacred grey ash on thier head (a minor variant of the term 'black ass' as used by our afro american frends).. there are fashion variants amongst these too - the 3 X horizontal line - a testament to the holy trinity (not the Matrix waali!) a complete 'out there' statement ..then there is the other variant - casual and understated - just a careless blob - torn between fitting with the rest of the world and keeping in touch with ur tambram roots.
- Checked shirt, trouser and leather chappal: Well cant really say - this could be characteristic of a bihari also - so will not talk much about this.
- Eating joints: Completely vegetarian, preferably only South Indian food (Udipi restaurants)
- Conversation topics: Couldnt understand most of these, not cos they were in Tam, but cos they were highly maggu nerdy MS/Phd level stuff :p

In Singapore, they are found eating at Sarvana Bhawan and LN (lakshmi Narsimhan) - the appearances are changed so as to not be deported back - but innately they are still the same...

Others:
- Bathing: Typical tam-brams take 45 mins to bathe - the process is long winded and complicated , involving several mins of standing there under the shower ignoring people outside banging on the door cos u are delaying them. They also need to bathe everytime u step out of the house - lest they be ostracized from society

- Rajnikanth: Just when you had decided that this was a bunch of sedentary boring people, u see the crazy following for Rajnikanth - there are hazaar jokes on this topic on the web - please read them for more info..

anyway - nayak has promised to give me inputs on this one, so this is just a draft.. will come back with more info on this.. (see how tough it is to write a blog! need to research and all too)

Also, Interesting fact-byte : Tam brams constitute only 2-3% of the total TN population -which is very weird cos ive never met a non-bram tam!

99 comments:

Unknown said...

LOL!!!!! russell peters beware!! (stop rolling your eyes spunks!!)

Shweta said...

puhleeeeeeeez! as the famous words go:

- he's intelligent (yeah riiiiite!)
- he's funny (if u absolutely must insist)
- he's very intelligent (no comments)
- he's intelligently funny (can i cry nowwwwww?!!!?)

naaaah, not me pplz, thts Kavzie gushin' abt her and Rupvati's 'sparkling gem' :P

srikant said...

well yeah, and do u blame kavzie for that, esp after her confession yday!

Neways, u fat bong (was thinking whether to acllu bastard or bong, then thut, what difference?).. stop this slander against tambrahms from my neighbouring land! do I protest when u say debashish Mohanty is the best fast bowler india has ever produced???
hehehhaahhahahhooo.

Anonymous said...

eh dont you dare talk about bongs like that.. i little birdy told me that you might have a LOT to do with them in the futur. Rather you may actually BECOME one of them! you dont want these ghosts from that past hounding you then.. brouhahahahahahah

Unknown said...

don't worry nayak bro. you can count on my support. don't have much to lose anyway. since some of these bongs think i hate them already.
its war i say.
P.S : for the record when he spoke abt debashish mohanty, he meant best 'swing' bowler and not best 'fast' bowler. just thought i'd clear that up.

Samcho said...

abey ye TAM Bram ke saath saath Bihari ka kyo liya?? mein likhu bengali ke baare mein???

unpredictable said...

bastard!!! I havent used oil since i was 9, i bathe in 5 mins when i have to and in 10 mins wen i want to, i dont wear tikkas except with saris (which btw i look gr8 in!) and i eat decently and keep a clean house (dont even know if u touched on these - but wth!) .. BASTARD!!!! Saala bong!!! (spunks - dont get me wrong, hes a nice guy, hes jus pissin me off!!!) :DD

Anonymous said...

Hey Dick Head Fucker!! If this all you knew of TamBrams, it talks a great deal of your confused rambling brains and the amount of enlightenment you have in life, looks like you have had a nightmarish upbringing and a highly traumatized life till date, the best place for you to lear or experience your fuckin roots will be to go down to Wild Fuckin Africa, which has been the cradle of birth, probably then you would get to know which fukcin insect sucked the juice out of your dick and landed you into this traumatized state. You gotit fuckin all wrong Bro, hope there are better folks who represent your sect, looks like you suck the most amongst them, anyways good luck bloggin on such naive topics....grow up brother... there is plenty left to be explored still. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Its sad... your contact with the tamil community is so limited, And if your only contact is a few tambrams in your immediate family.. I do feel sorry for you!!
Then may be you are right!

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