Completely pedestrian normal day at office - the usual running around dousing fires, the same old self promises to do things earlier and in a more planned way, the same money tussles with Mote (Finance guy on our team) and volume tussles with Jonas (CMK) ...
Not having your boss around is a wonderful feeling i tell you, efficiencies automatically dip to levels that you didnt know exist :p, Its not that on a normal day Alissa would come up to me and make me do work but still, as soon as I know that my boss isnt around - the desi gorment office ka babu in me comes through.. Slow paced, lazy and completely untouched by words like timelines, deadlines, efficiency or results.
The back half of the day was decidedly cheerier and looked like it had a purpose - to get out of office at 7:00 pm and go play squash.. Despite my rotund shape and close to a quintal weight, the prospect of sport always energises me - for no real real reason now that I think about it - surely not the prospect of winning (cos I rarely win), not the prospect of thinning down (cos i never do ) and definitely not the competitive streak (which usually takes a beating)..
Anyway, after huffing and puffing to a creditable 2-1 win over a more huffy and puffy shankar, I was not just ready to call it a day - not just for today but for life... As I lay there on the floor and waiting for world to stop spinning and the world to cool down, shankar being shankar started a conversation about 'what are your strengths and weaknesses'.. I say conversation, but it was probably more a monologue - given that my lungs were busy doing something I thought was more important -catching my breath!..
Anyways, the last time i thought of my strengths was the usual campus interview time - where the strengths made u seem like gods and the weaknesses were strengths poorly disguised as a weakness.. 'Im so passionate that I expect others to be like me' or ' I work so hard sometimes that Work-life balance is an issue' or the best.. 'My analyses is usually so in-depth that people around me get insecure'.. So nett.. when shanks asked me this - I was floundering for words and making up something as we talked .. umm - leadership, structured thinking... umm.. people skills.. all global answers from a campus interview..
And then it struck me - like a brett lee bouncer striking a hapless sourav ganguly, it wasnt about what I said and wanted to say... but it was more of what I was.. and thats something i didnt know.. shameful ... and soon the shame turned to an itch - to sit and think about it - and we sat for the next 30 mins IM'ing in sweaty clothes at the squash court about how to identify true strengths and weaknesses and what it takes to fix them...
30 sweaty mins later we decided that the conversation needed to be continued over dinner at Shankhas place.. but as we got there - the 37 inch tv, christinas garam paranthas and sachins discussion of his new case on 'organisational structure to maximise efficiencies' took over and my deepdive into my life took a back seat...
After a fairly forgettable Mustafa trip after that, I was back - and thinking about it again... and as I drifted off to sleep, I remember thinking... need to know my self better.. much better... not my projected self ... but me, myself..
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1 comment:
not bad.
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